I came to Dharmasala

I heard this story when I was in Goa and it has haunted me in every way since. This girl had what is affectionately called "Delhi Belly," everyone gets sick in Delhi and if not Delhi than at some point in India. Diarrhea, Constipation, vomiting, amoebas, and other such glorious things. Sadly, it is common enough for travelers to literally poo their pants at some point in their journey ( I watched this happen to a friend who shall remain nameless). So, this girl that the story is about, she was on the bus and in such a state that she was about to lose all bowel control. She asked for them to stop the bus, she begged and said that she REALLY needed the bathroom. They simply pointed to the back of the bus where the girl saw a bucket. Nobody wants to have diarrhea in a bucket in front of a bus load of people, but the great teacher that India is says you can't always get what you want, and when you gotta go, you gotta go. So, the girl poos in the bucket and when she finally is willing to make eye contact with the rest of the bus they are all staring at her as if to say, "what the hell are you doing???" at which point she turned around to see that behind the bucket there was a bathroom door.

After getting sick in Delhi I prayed to the gods that this would not be my fate and after a full night on the bus I gladly arrived in Dharmasala without any traumatic episodes. Rob and I checked in to some guesthouse up some mountain in the dark before dawn and slept in the kind of quiet that can only be found in the woods. It was amazing. Freezing, but amazing. Rob immediately made friends with some Indian travelers; I think he was very happy to spend some time with the men folk as well as people who were from the country that we've been trying to understand for 2 months now. He changed guesthouses and I quickly followed suit and found my own; it was nice to sleep in the woods for one morning but I was not interested in going for a hike every time I wanted to use the bathroom. I found a lovely place that resembled more of a swiss cottage than anything else and set up shop, happy to finally be staying somewhere longer than a couple of days.

Technically, we were staying in Bhagsu, the quieter suburb of McLeod Gang, home to the Dalai Lama. It was our great luck that the Dalai Lama was also in town leading teachings for the two weeks that we planned to stay and so these beautiful snow capped himalayan towns have been filled to the brim with Tibetan monks and Buddhists from all over the world, painting such a lovely picture of red cloaks, shaved heads and sneakers. You just gotta love a monk in addidas.

I quickly got myself situated, sussing out reiki teachers, meditation courses, yoga classes and the like. On my way to go interview another teacher about their course, I got a little lost and found myself talking to an incredibly good looking Indian fellow named Karan. This town is one of the first non holy places I've been to where Indians also travel for holiday. It was the first time that I was able to have a conversation with Indians who weren't part of the toursit industry. Karrie and I were talking for awhile about spirituality and life and then his friend Shiv came along and he and I also hit it off, talking about politics and history and all sorts of things. We were all fast friends and as the boys were only in town for a couple more hours, I decided to spend the rest of my day with them and their other 2 friends Harry and Maki. It was AWESOME. They had a car. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but after traveling for three months, its a HUGE deal. The freedom of being able to drive where ever you want, when ever you want, to be able to stop for the toilet, its a big deal. So they helped me run some errands and played crazy trance music really loudly and in general were just damn good company. 5pm quickly became 10pm which even faster became 3am. Karan had to leave at 2 am to make it back home in time to catch a train so that he could get a boat to ship out because he is a merchant marine, or the Indian equivalent. This clearly did not happen. Too much fun was had and before we knew it we had all passed out in my little room and woke up at 10 in the morning. The boys took me for an Indian breakfast and then some more driving around with the trance music, again I don't know why, but it was some of the most fun I've had during this entire trip. We said goodbye, despite my wishes that they could stay and they were off to Chandigar and I to my first crystal healing class (please ignore the new age connotations).

The class was interesting and I loved my teacher Usha. She was just so darn shiny. But I spent the rest of the day gutted that the boys were gone, especially cause Karan and I had a nice little junior high school relationship of holding hands and making eyes. Absolutely exhausted because I had not really slept for three nights, I was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on my door. It was Karan. There had been a landslide on the road and they waited and waited but eventually just decided to come back. I was very happy and we all had another night of hanging out, giggling and getting to know each other.

I didn't have much time to hang out the next morning because I had a 4 hour meditation course to go to, so I said another goodbye this time with a promise to come to their city and visit them on my way back to Delhi. Gutted again, because Karan wouldn't be there and he had been so sweet, giving me gifts and writing me cute little notes, but still excited about seeing my other new friends and getting to have a more genuine Indian experience.

Class was weird. Lots of jumping around and screaming, laughing and dancing as meditation (its called Osho to be specific) and finally when I went back to my room, guess who was still there: the whole Punjabi gang. Apparently, my guesthouse owner was not so happy to find 4 Indian guys in my tiny room that was only supposed to be for one. He had threatened to call the police and forced them to stay till I returned to sort things out. It was interesting because as weird as the mediation course had been, I had made some interesting connections in the class about maintaining serenity and openness while in direct conflict, you know trying to respond to anger with love and all that hype. And there it was, a perfect opportunity to give it a go. My guesthouse owner was nothing but anger, he wanted a fight and there was no part of me that was willing to give it to him. He yelled and I apologized, just trying to listen, he got frustrated and I got calm. Like water off a duck's back, I was in my zen. So in the end, I decided to leave because I didn't need to stay somewhere where I wasn't;t welcome, but I bought him a gift to make sure that the communication was done with kindness. The boys were finally allowed to leave and the police were not involved. So I said goodbye to them again because I had to run off to my crystals class. I was so impressed by how helpful and understanding and kind my new friends were and even more sad to say goodbye.

When I returned to the guesthouse that night to move my stuff I found a very apologetic guesthouse owner who had been very touched by my present, (perhaps a little too touched because I have had to turn down his advances and invitations to dinner ever since) but still there was no anger left, so I decided to stay.

Since then there have been more classes with new friends, Hannah from England and Marcelle and Daniella from Australia. Old friends from Rishikesh showed up and introduced me to more new friends and I;ve just been hopping from reiki class to crystals to the dalai lama teachings to just spending time with good people. There have also been some dramas that I've been watching play out among me and other people I've been traveling with, but mostly I"ve just been watching them instead of jumping in, as per usual.

Daniella read my palm over dinner one night and told me a lot of the same stuff that the astrologer said. My palms talked about this rite of passage that I know I've been going through over the past 5 months. I'm still full on in it, not sure how to respond to the world, because my old ways don't ring true anymore and my new ways are still in the making. Most of you know I'm not a terribly passive person, but lately it seems most of what I do is watch. To watch what others do, to watch how I respond, to suss out where those responses come from and whether or not they are necessary, way before I even act out because of them. Needless to say, I've been learning a lot. This trip may have been the best decision I have made of yet and its wonderfully far from finished.

much love to you all,

I wish you could see the snow capped Himalayas from where you are sitting,

Maya

My horoscope says...

(I went to see an astrologer, he read my charts and told me about my self in relation to the planets and my aura and my lucky numbers and other such things that you take with a grain of salt...tell me people, did he get me, or could this be from the back of a 17 magazine??)

My rising sign is ascendent, a fire sign. My moon is in scorpio, a water sign. This denotes conflict in my personalityas well as conflict in my emotions. I am sympathetic, turhtful, direct, my emotions are not concealed. I am outspoken, something that people do not always respond well to, they don't always want to hear truth. This is something I need to balance. I am impulsive and versatile with the ability to cultivate much higher branches of learning, such as theology, philosophy, law...

I have a thirst for knowledge and learn more from travel and experience than from studies and books. I will have great opportunity for travel and the fulfillment of knowledge. I have a good capacity for expression and teaching. More than just in a classroom, I would make a good counselor or politician even--something that requires the ability of convincing people of things. I will have conflict and dissapointments within my profession, but mostly with authority, bosses, systems and the like.


I have had difficulties in relationships and there have been many short ones. I have an intesnely deep range of emotions and need to be understood deeply, this has lead to much suffering.

I am very spiritual and have a natural religion. There was probably an ancestor that was also very spiritual and they have passed this path on to me. I will find my spiritual growth very satisfactory. Although I am not a healer yet I have the potential to become one. And I should live well into my 80s. I died an accidental death in my past life, as per the mole on my back, and I shouldn't need to worry about that in this life.

Financial affairs will be smooth in my life. Work will not stop because of lack of finances and if something is necessary for me, I will be able to acquire it.

It is possible that my mother miscarried at some point and that child was female. And there was difficulty with my birth.

My first child will be a boy with possible twins to follow. This child may be conceived between Oct 29 2006-May 18 2008. This will be a very positive period for me with many changes in my life. Many lingering problems will be resolved during this time. I wil change my institution but for the better and I will form a new relationship that wil be binding and pleasant and may lead to marriage. My artistic tendencies will rise as well as my mental energies.

July 19 2008-May 21 2009 however will be difficult for me. My inner constitution will be low, filed with pessimism. I may be harrassed by someone or something, people will be jealous of me and I might have a skin problem. Nothing too serious, but I should take good care of myself during this time. If I have not already conceived a child, I should avoid conceiving one during this time.

Too balance myself I must seek mountains and forest as well as outdoor sports. I will have an opportunity to live some of my life in the mountains.

I should be able to fulfill all of my responsibilites in this life: personal, family, friends, society.
Jealousy plays a big part of the negativity I will face and I should not disclose my plans uneccessarily.

My karma is good. My aura is a light red color which brings me ego, patience and popularity (also why I should become a politician). And I should seek a moon yantra.

My lucky days are wednesdays, fridays and mondays and my lucky numbers are odds, especially 5,7 and 9

So what do you guys think? Have I been pegged? Is this an appropriate reading for the Maya that y'all know?? Should I spend the extra money to buy the moon yantra--its like survivor, based on your votes I will keep or kick the astrologer off the island.

Happy Holi!

Most days in Rishikesh, after the Ashram, were spent either in philosophy lectures, teaching myself how to read tarot and getting a little bit obsessed with it, taking yoga classes or going on Jewish "dates" to the Chabad house with my new friend Oved. Oh and by Jewish dates I mean thinking I was on a date and really just sitting by myself while everyone around me spoke hebrew. Heaps of fun!

My cousin Dani had emailed me saying that she was bored in Delhi and where was I. I emailed her begging her to come join and before I could even check my email again to see what she had decided to do, she had tracked me down like a honing beacon and come directly to rishikesh to the random small cafe that I was sitting at behind someone's house in a dark desolate alley. Amazing. That was the second time that without any information other than what city I was in that this girl was able to use intuition alone to find me on her first try out. It felt like a magic trick. Later on that week she also told me that I would have twin boys either by December of this year or December of 2o12. I did the math and sent Oved home alone that night.

We had decided to stay in Rishikesh till after the great Hindi holiday called Holi. Holi is a holiday meant to bring darkness into light. It is celebrated by a giant game of color tag in the streets. By color tag I mean that everyone has either buckets of colored water, or powdered paint or paint guns that they peg with you as you run wild trying to peg others. Among the Hindus its supposed to be good fun, and as we watched it did seem to be quite a gentle and loving sharing of paint. For westerners the rules a re a bit different. There is a lot of alcohol involved and gangs of young men whose intentions have nothing to day with darkness, light or color period. They play the game called "grab as many boobies as you can." definitely a different game.

Rob, Julie and Dani and I spent the morning watching the festivities which seemed like just good old fashioned fun. And you know me, I'm a sucker for a game of tag. Probably why I've had any success working with children. So, Rob and I decided to brave it and join the frey. Julie and Dani decided to stay on the roof of our guesthouse with most other sane tourists. We also decided that if we were going to roam the streets during Holie, we would do it in top form. I put proper running shoes on and tied everything important to me, Rob got a rambo headband and we were off to run with the wolves, the big boys, the huge gangs of Indians. And it was awesome. We were covered in color in no time, which although looked amazing I must admit did not taste so great. We were running around like it was mission impossible, hiding in alleys, ducking behind jeeps, running up on people from behind and covering them with pinks and greens. It was all fun and games till I ended up getting tackled by a gang of young boys who were out for their boobie grabs. Even that though wasn't so bad. There is so much weird aggression and tension towards women in this heavily repressed country and normally there is no way for me to rage against it. But here in this pile of attackers I was able to punch and kick and fight back and it felt awesome! I made it out of their grasp and continued to run down the street, laughing the whole way.

After a couple of hours though I was done and basically spent the rest of the day trying to wash the paint off, which guess what doesn't come off that easily and sleeping, trying to fight off a stomach virus that Dani had brought with her from Delhi. Right: a picture of me, even after a couple showers, loving a pink puppy that had been hit by Holi as well.

Quick note

Rob and Julie and I made it to Delhi yesterday. I have a sinus infection and some strange stomach virus, rob has caught some sort of flu. We will weather the storm here for at least another night before we get a 14 hour bus to Dharamsala. Later today I will upload loads of pictures and stories about our adventures in rishikesh, such as why my hair ended up yellow and red without me dying it...even when I try to be "normal," there's just no use.

much love,
maya

ashram school dropout...

ahhh for sooo many reasons rob and julie and I only lasted one measly day. It was a long day so at least there was that and the day definetly left an impression, so there's also that...

Here's some context. It was a yoga retreat with meditation and breathing excercises. The day began at 5:30 am and went straight through till 10:30 pm. I don't think that I gave this part much thought. Part of me still thinks that I'm the young spry spring bunny that was able to pull three all nighters a week for a good GPA. Alas, I have since decided that nothing is worth my mental and physical health and stability, the GPA wasn't worth it and I can't think of much that would be. And I'll tell you something else, sitting in the dark chanting in sanskrit about the great pumpkin reeper is remarkably not the thing thats gonna sell me. Here's a big old f to that.

Moreover, there was also a vipassana retreat going on in the same center. A vipassana is a retreat in which people take a vow of silence for 10 days in an effort to meditate and quiet the mind and all that. I think thats awesome. Really. My cousin Dana has done one, my Uncle Ori as well. I would even do one. BUT what they don't tell you is that you in addition to being silent must also become a zombie. This place was crawling with people who were walking around like the living dead. eyes fixed on nothing, moving slower than most things standing still. I spent the entire day trying to pick which person would try and eat my heart while I slept--NOT MEDITATIVE FOR ME.

So there was that. The guru also seemed a little too viappassana'd out. A little slow with most things. Not the most communicative. Well that was until we decided we wanted to leave, and then her whole shanti shanti thing became angry capitalist in under a second. Anyways, Julie decided that she would pretend that she was a journalist undercover. Rob thought of hinself as a prison inmate. I thought it was strange that we were not only choosing a reality, but paying for one in which we had to create stories to tell ourselves to even make it tolerable. Nonetheless, I was on Ashram Survivor, constantly trying to figure out who would be the first one to be voted off the ashram, or better yet who would snap under the pressures of the meditation work load which turned out to be even more demanding than we had anticipated. I thought for sure that Johan would be the first to drop. He made the worst face when they slopped different colored liquid onto our army metal trays and called it food. He also was the one who farted in the yoga class--there always has to be one. But it wasn't johan. It was this lovely lady silca.

It was really hard to tell cause everyone was talking smack about it. Well not everyone, there was the elderly lady who grunted like she was having sex with every single yoga posture--also not relaxing for the rest of us! I also thought that the obnoxious french guy would be the second to go. During the question and answer at the end of the night when we were all incredibly eager to get to bed, he decided he wanted to have the floor so that he could preach in poor english about how the west bastardizes the purity of yoga and that he knows the purity of yoga and all these other people dont have the spiritual purity that he has. I agreed... if by spiritual purity he meant ardent arrogance and hypocracy, he had loads. I thought he would be voted off the ashram. But it wasn't him who left. It was us. We went into town for some supplies because there was no way we were gonna make it through the week without snacks and water bottles. I found myself running around as if I had just gotten out of jail, and I;ve been in jail so I know what it means to run around like you've just gotten out. It occurred to me that unlike the last time, i could choose not to spend my travels in "jail." I asked rob and julie what they were looking for from the ashram and they said discipline. I said f that. Most of you know, especially the family, that I have spent most of my life fighting off those who want to tell me how to live my life. Self determination, empowerment, self discipline, agency, these are the things that make me happy-not some zombie telling me how to become a zombie. I went to the ashram for convenience (yoga and meditation and all that in one place), I went for expertise, for the knowledge of a guru, and for the isolation of being able to be with myself. These things were not provided for me so I left. Rob and Julie decided that the discipline was not for them, so they left as well.

Ahhh, it was only 24 hours but I'll tell you it was a long long 24 hours. So I'm out now and much happier, i'm taking a vedic philosophy course and will begin checking out yoga teachers and doing my own practice. I spent this afternoon celebrating the 102 birthday of a famous guru by singing and chanting with him and recieving puja and halvah from him. and life is available to me again and it makes me happy. the ashram was an interesting experience and I'm happy for that. but I am also glad that it is over and that it only lasted for 24 hours.

like a kid in a candy shop

I love rishikesh. I was really worried that it would be too built up in my mind, that the picture of a spiritual disneyland couldn't possibly proove true. but it has and its brilliant. each day Rob and I say what ride should we cue up for next? a yoga class? an ashram? a meditation course? some reiki? deeksha? or maybe a lecture on vedic philosophy? its all here and cheap and gorgeous.

Today I woke up and met caitlin and julie and rob for a yoga class followed by an ayurvedic breakfast. We shared a cup of tea with this nymph named Colton who told us about an ayurverdic doctor that we promptly made appointments to go see on Monday. Then Rob and I took a jeep out to visit an ashram where we will stay from the 9th of March to the 15th for certfication in yoga and all this silent meditation stuff that sounds absolutely keen.

I would also like to announce that I am at the end of day 5 of my affair with veganism. I am not trying to be a strict vegan but my body has been sending me anti dairy and egg vibes for awhile now and I finally feel capable of listinening to what my body wants/doesn't want and it feels great. I thought it would be much harder to give up cheese and ice cream and milk and such...let's stop talking about them, maybe its not so easy....dang it. But anyways it feels great and it provides me with hope for not walking out of India the inevitable fatty that everyone leaves India as...

Yesterday I swam in a waterfall that flows into the holiest river in india and sat around a campfire cooking lunch with a group of singing gypsies.

Tomorrow I think maybe another walk and a swim, perhaps a meditation course. Life is good here in rishikesh and I'm soaking it all in.

time to repair

After a long long day of bollywood my body was aching. My iron levels were also pretty hard up due to a visit from my dear aunt flo. It seems any time the energy levels are low india is ready to pounce. So I got sick. Not delhi belly sick, just a cold sick, but its hard to be sick in india no matter what kind of sick it is. But here's the amazing thing: my whole life I've had terrible menstrual cramps. Crippling menstrual cramps. I've dealt with it by crying and taking loads of pain killers and then walking around like a zombie for a day and ahalf out of every month. But thanks to some reiki/body talk break throughs, this month I was fine. There were the hints of pain but I used what I'd learned and they never manifested. Never in the dozen years of my womanhood have had a month without pain. SO, here's to reiki cause I'm now a believer.

Still worn out from all the other stuff and of course still pissed off at the world, as every woman's right, Rob and Harry tolerated my company as we wandered around mumbai all day. I cursed at the men who tried to grab me under my breath, rob tried to make me smile, we watched a TERRIBLE bollywood film about a blind girl who tried to kill herself (try singing and dancing about that), we ate fancy ice cream coffee drinks and then made out way to our sleeper train to pushkar.

The train ride was lovely and although it was continuoulsy interrupted by the snoring of everyone around me, it reminded me of sleeping at home, where you can hear my fathers snoring from every room in the house. It was nice. Rob and I played with tarot cards as well as regular cards, we made pleasant conversation with an indian woman named "Shitler," I shit you not and we drank more chais than I can count. By sundown we made it to pushkar where the sun seems to cut rays of light through the sky. It was beyond cheesy paintings and the only words for it would surely constitute bad poetry.

We arrived the night before shivarati a festival to celebrate shiva and it seemed that our timing was impecable. Unfortunately I was still sick and really not feeling up to pushkar. It was a holy city on a holy lake in the desert with amazing shopping. But I just couldnt be asked to interact with any of it. I found the priests to be pushy and the sadhus to be glorified beggars.

The only thing that made me smile was a small street boy named Natu. Natu played some crazy instrument that resembled a violin out of cocunuts and wire. He spoke some english, had excellent manners for an indian boy and had a smile that made you want to pay for his college education. I took Natu and some of the other street kids out for some meals and tried to teach him some stuff that might help with other toursits like how to shake hands, head shoulders knees and toes and of course some michael jackson, because who wouldn't give money to a small boy singing "Im starting with the man in the mirror, oh yeah, i'm asking him to change his ways..."

After a few days I was done with being in pushkar and really wanted to make my way to righikesh so I could find a place to settle down and take some courses for the rest of my time in India. I had to leave Rob in Pushkar because he was committed to seeing this painting of Ganesh get painted to his likings. And I was off to Delhi on my own. Its funny though, cause theres just no being a lone in India. As soon as I sat down to wait for the bus I met an Australian woman and then a guy from NYC who plays classical indian music and then another guy from LA and then a girl from Chile (who looks just like pam, if pam were all shanti shanti instead of death metal) and a couple from France. y the time I got off the sleeper bus there was a whole gang of people that insisted I come to breakfast with them and travel the rest of the day to rishikesh with them as well. How could I say no.

We arrived here in Rishikesh last night and I joined my gang from Pushkar to a guesthouse in lokshman jhula for some more music and merriment.

Today I have been wandering around looking for a place to call home for awhile. An ashram maybe. Rob arrives some time today and Caitlin arrives tomorrow. We are at the base of the himalaya mountains here and right on the ganges river, the most holy river in all of india. Its nice cause its so far north that the river is still clean and not full of burnt body parts from funerals gona awry. Ah, what a country.